Friday, October 22, 2010

the kind of strength

My blog is "loosely" themed around my life with Sophie and Elora...but every now and then again I post about something slightly off topic because something moves me or speaks to me in a unique and profound way. My gracious followers...many of whom I know are fellow pet lovers and are here for Sophie and Elora not me per say...seem to give me that little bit of leeway now and then and still continue to come back and for that I thank you. I had intended, this week, to write about Elora and still have that post (and a few pics) ready to go...but I ask you instead to indulge me as I would like to veer from the stories of pets to comment briefly on the recent stories of strength that I have been witness to of late...stories that have moved me to my core.

I do not have children of my own but am blessed by the presence of children in my life through my wonderful nephews and through the children of my very best girlfriends. Even without having gone through it myself, I realize that the act of becoming a parent is quite likely the most wonderful, most life altering, most difficult and most rewarding experience out there. And I have seen, especially through the lens of my camera, how remarkable, whimsical, innocent and joyful children truly are....for a few brief years they get to live under the wonderful umbrella of no mistakes, no wrongs, no regrets, no responsiblities...other than to taste the world and start to become the person they will be. And that is a tremendous thing to see.

But I have also seen up close, in the last few months, a mother, in a room at SickKids Hospital, make her one year old son's face light up with a smile while a nurse adjusted his feeding tube...a device required to help him gain the weight he needed to in order to thrive. I have seen a busy mother of three, time and time again, bring a huge selection of homemade chicken fingers, cookies and more, to group gatherings so her four year old son, diganosed with autism a year ago, can stay on the diet that's best for him while still enjoying many of the foods that "all the other kids get to eat". And I have read the emails of another mother, sent out to her best girlfriends to let them know of her three year old daughter's recent diagnosis of diabetes, and these emails were filled with words of resolve and with words of hope and with words of bravery....she and her daughter were meeting the diagnosis head on, were getting educated and, it seemed, would not pause for a second to feel sorry for themselves or to ask "why me?". In that hospital room, at those group gatherings, in those emails I saw not only an unyeilding strength in these mothers, but the strength they gave their children and, in all three cases, felt my eyes well up with tears...not with sadness, not with sympathy...but with pride....and with love. I was so proud to know have people in my life like that to model myself after.

I know how it feels when one of my animals is in pain or is I can barely imagine how that must feel for a mother when it's her child. So to see a mother stand strong and make her little guy or girl laugh as his tube is adjusted or her finger is pricked to test blood sugar levels, knowing that a mom's tears would only make it worse for them...well, that's the kind of stength, the kind of stuff, that legends are made of. To those three mothers I know, I do not have the words to describe my admiration for your kind of strength...nor my love for you and for those kids.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

our hiatus

Sophie and I have been absent for a while for a couple of reasons. Partly because I have been so busy with work...the notion of being on a computer after a long day at the office was somewhat distasteful. And partly because I have been struggling with what to say to keep this blog fresh and to continue telling mine and Sophie's story without becoming repetitive. And partly because I, for the most part, retired my camera for a few months....somewhere in the business side of my photography (even though it was quite small) my love for it got lost so I haven't had a lot of new photos to post here. I considered shutting down the blog...wondering if it's time was over. But....

I have just spent some time reading over some past blog posts of mine and realized how much I treasure having those documented stories of Sophie and I. Finding Sirius, at the end of the day, is for even if our journey becomes irrelevant to other readers, it will always be important to me and I want to continue writing about Sophie and I. I have dissolved the business aspect of my photography and am starting to get back to the hobby I once loved...taking pictures of Sophie, of our life and am looking to evolve creatively in the world of digital art. As for work, it will continue to be busy but I am still loving every minute of it and need to find a way to balance it with this blog. I often get to use my stories of Sophie and I in my work...she will always be my muse and she inspires others....and nothing makes me prouder. So Finding Sirius will continue on, as my journey with Sophie continues on...and as dog love continues to open my eyes to new possibilities every day.