fulfillment

A good friend and I were having a conversation recently about life and he used the word "fulfillment". I tossed that word around for days afterwards...thinking about the role that fulfillment has in our lives. There are so many different aspects to one's life...areas that matter, that affect our well being, that help us determine whether or not we are living the best version of our life: our work, our relationships, our children, our health, our hobbies, our financial stability, our faith and so on. In each of those areas we have a set of ideals, of expectations, of how we want that part of our life to be...what we need it to be in order to feel fulfilled.

I look around me and I see, more often than I would have expected, that people use the fulfillment they may be getting from one aspect of their life to make up for a lack of it in another. The fulfillment from having children makes up for the void left by a mediocre marriage. Or financial stability makes up for the monotony of a job that one has no passion for. Can one strive for fulfillment in every area of their life?

Finding fulfillment is hard, hard work. Things that are worth doing are usually hard. Sophie taught me about what true fulfillment really feels like....I had never really experienced that until she came into my life. I have written before that I had never felt as proud or as accomplished than when people would comment on how well we worked together or how well trained she was. Once you taste that kind of joy, you begin to seek it out in other areas of your life. But that kind of fulfillment does not come easy....it is a journey, and it is usually found by making tough decisions, by having courage, by having perseverance. I have found more fulfillment in the last year than I have known in my lifetime...but I have a long way to go still. I guarantee you will know two things for sure on your journey to fulfillment:

One....you will know when you have found it, because it will feel like your soul has grown wings.

And two...you will know that it was worth every second of that journey.

So is it possible to find fulfillment in every aspect of your life.? My answer is I don't know...but I intend to spend most of my time on this earth trying to find out.

a real dog

I received a pet industry research report at work this week that used the phrase "a real dog" in it at a few points. The phrase stuck in my thoughts for the next few days as I dared to ponder how does one define "a real dog"?


oban

Our passion for our pets has created such a range of philosophy in the dog world....everything from what they should be eating to how to train them to what they should look like to conform to breed standards. And passionate dog owners, trainers, etc are never shy about giving their opinion (with the best of intentions) on those views. It's amazing that these creatures have created such strong feelings in us....it's one of the very reasons that our relationships with dogs has evolved in such a wonderful way. But with the sweet always comes the sour.

coda

A real dog? Is that one of a certain size? One that wears a Halloween costume or one that doesn't? One that is purebred? One that works or one that shows? I've heard this expression,"a real dog" before...and it saddens me that some of us judge the "realness" of dog based on some pre-determined list of criteria that is agreed to upon by....who?

barkley

There are so many neglected and abused dogs...they are the ones that need our support, our intervention, our voice. The happy, go-lucky dogs of this world who have good forever families don't....no matter what kind of kibble they eat, or if they can't hold a sit-stay for a full minute or if they wear a different outfit every week or if the only papers to their name is a copy of the shelter adoption form. They don't need to be saved or spoken for on behalf of their well-being. Their owners don't need to be lectured. And neither the owner nor the dog needs to be judged. Do you know how you can spot a "real dog"? Because they are happy.

sophie

A real dog is a happy dog. A real dog loves to eat and sniff and bark and play. A real dog gets a chance, now and then, to run. A real dog has a warm, safe place where they love to sleep. A real dog is loved. And a real dog loves you back. Tell me how it gets any more real than that?

fall's whisper

There is something about the fall that I find extremely peaceful. It always feels like the beginning of a quieter time....less rush, less busy...and I love that feeling. Maybe it's the holidays approaching in the distance, but it feels like a time for family. A time to slow down and just be together.

I look forward to Saturday mornings in the fall. Cozy in favorite wool sweaters with hot cups of coffee, we walk a joyous Sophie along the trails that are washed over in brilliant reds, oranges and yellows and I can hear fall's whisper.....the changing of the seasons.

And I know...as I always do on my walks with Sophie....that life doesn't get any better than this.

a dog year

There have been two events in my life that have left me feeling lost…left me feeling unsure of the next step to take…left me feeling a hollow sadness deep in my bones. The first event was a marriage that ended several years ago. And the second was losing my job last August. And in both cases, it was an animal that brought me back….that helped me find myself again….it was animal that saved me. Cosmo, a little stray cat, brought love back into my life again. And Sophie, well, she helped me find sirius…my dog star, my true north.

I started writing because of Sophie. She is my muse…the topic of a former monthly newspaper column, of articles in magazines, the inspiration for this blog. She touched something in me that made me want to express myself with pen and paper. I truly believe that I would not be writing today if Sophie had not come into my life. I picked up a camera a year ago, pointed it at Sophie, clicked the shutter button down once…and haven’t stopped shooting since. I started taking photos to capture memories of Sophie, which led to photographing more dogs, which led to the Charlie Project…which led to finding.sirius photography (a small weekend business). I can’t imagine a world without my camera now….a world that I found because of Sophie.

The way that Sophie has inspired both my writing and my love of photography over the last year is wonderful….but she has done something far more important than that for me. She opened my eyes. She helped me use the time I was given after losing my job to just breathe. To figure out what I really wanted to do next. To realize that I needed my work to matter to me….and that the paycheck, the title, the benefits were not part of what mattered. She led me to a job where I use my passion for pets and their bond with their owners every day. And it’s a job that leaves me with the energy, inspiration and time to pursue my other interests.

The days and weeks after I was let go from my job were hard…some of the hardest days I have known so far in life. And while the people in my life were wonderful and supportive…I was suffering a crisis of self…of knowing who I was supposed to be anymore. I was lost and embarrassed…and that made it difficult to be around those very people that were offering so much support. It made it difficult to even get up in the morning. But, being with Sophie brought me comfort. She made me smile…I would go for long walks with her and I would start to feel hopeful…feel inspired and confident again. And I began to look at my life from a different perspective and I found what was really important to me. I found photography. I found writing. I found a job that I love for the first time in my life. I found real joy. And when I looked for the reason for finding all those things….I found Sophie.

Jon Katz has said it best: “If there's magic in the relationships between humans and dogs, it might be that mysterious interdependence, the way in which we sometimes need our dogs greatly, and some of them can read that and become the dogs we need. In this way, they steady us, buoy us, especially in dark times.” To the critics of my story, the ones that say Sophie is just a dog, to them I say….thank goodness she is. It is the very essence of a dog…the traits that set them apart from humans…..their wildness, their spirit, their unconditional love of life…..that helped me. Oh, the places a dog can take you….if you open your heart to the magic.

join team sophie!

It's important to me that I maintain the integrity of this blog, Finding Sirius....that it doesn't stray too far from it's original purpose: a space to talk about my adventures in life with Sophie, about dog love and cat love, about the things that matter to me in this world. I have been approached by pet product companies to try their products and write reviews here about those products and have respectfully declined. I have been asked to link to sites that sell products and have also respectfully declined. This blog is not about generating sales, dollars or transactions...it's simply a creative space that has been inspired by the love of a great dog. However....there is very worthy cause that Sophie is a champion for, so I am granting myself a bit of flexibility to reach out to all of Sophie's fans in the blogging world to inquire if they would like to support her in an upcoming event.


(Sophie at the finish line in 2007)

For the last two years, Sophie has participated in the Terry Fox Run. Most Canadians are familiar with the event...if you would like to learn more about it you can get all the information here. It's a 10k run that happens on the second Sunday in September each year across many cities in Canada to raise funds for cancer research. Jones, my significant other and his brothers run with their Dad every year. So when Sophie was just 7 months old she completed her first of many runs and raised $440 for the cure. Last year her fundraising efforts generated $650 from very generous family and friends...and this year we are hoping to raise $1000. I am proud to say that she is one of the only canine fundraisers in Canada!!



(Sophie and Jones, 2008)

I have to admit I felt a bit relunctant to embark on our normal fundraising campaign this year. I knew it would be tough....tough to ask people to part with even a small amount of their hard earned dollars in this tough economy. But I got thinking about that word "tough"...and as hard as it is to ask I know it's tougher to lose a pet to cancer. And I know its tougher to have a loved one diagnosed....or yourself diagnosed...with cancer. And I know its even tougher to lose someone to this terrible diseaase. So, you see, fundraising doesn't seem so tough anymore.


(Quotes from Terry Fox along the way, 2008)

You can join Sophie on the Marathon of Hope, no matter where you live in this big world, by sponsoring her online at the following link:


JOIN TEAM SOPHIE HERE!!

We will proudly be displaying the names of Sophie`s supporters on our sidebar (with active links where applicable) as well on a bandana that Sophie will be wearing during run day. Whether you can spare $5 or $50, every little bit helps us get one step closer to finding a cure for cancer. You can read about Sophie's first run in the article below. It ran in a local Toronto paper back in 2007...written from Sophìe's point of view, of course.


My Walk with Terry - by Sophie


On Sunday, September 16th I walked with my “mom” and “dad” in the Terry Fox Run. In this issue of SNAP North Toronto, I wanted to write about my day and why I walked with Terry. I say “with” Terry, instead of “for” because I think that every Canadian (furry and not!) who believes in finding a cure for cancer carries a piece of the Terry Fox spirit within themselves all the time and especially during the day of the Run.


It was a cool Sunday morning, but the sun was shining as we drove to the park. As we walked down to the start line, I was so excited I wanted to burst off my leash! My “dad” and his family took off running, while my “mom” and I began our walk. There was a live band sending out notes of old rock & roll dancing through the air, corn was being husked for roasting later on in the day and volunteers were handing out crisp green apples and satin soft Terry Fox ribbons to the runners. But what struck me the most were the people.


On our walk I met a man in a wheelchair with his 7 year old Border Collie/Lab mix named Oscar. I saw families with kids on bikes and their Terry Fox ribbons waving in the wind as they past by. I saw a group of women in their forties wearing hats that said: “In memory of Barbara” walking together, their cheeks stained with tears. I saw an elderly couple with walking canes in one hand and each other’s hand in the other. And in everyone’s eyes, I saw hope.


I was so tired when we finished, that I fell asleep in the car on the way home! But I had lots of important reasons for doing the run. The main reason I walked with Terry on September 16th was for my “dad”. He runs with his Dad and brothers every year, so I wanted to go too! Also, those who have met me know how much I LOVE to meet people and I had started thinking about all the people I would never get to meet because cancer had slipped in and stolen them from this world before their time. So I walked with Terry on September 16th for all of those people and their stolen time.


In my short time on the planet, I have also met many of my mom and dad’s family and friends. I realized that almost everyone I know has been affected by this terrible disease through the loss of someone dear to them. It has touched so many people and left a scar on their hearts that will stay with them forever. So I walked with Terry on September 16th to help lift the weight of those scars even if only by a little.

I am so glad that I was part of the Marathon of Hope this year. I raised $440 for the cure! Thank you to all my friends and family who were able to sponsor me. Next year I will be running…running with Terry for my “dad”, for stolen time and for those scars. Running to help find a way to rid this world of this terrible disease. Running for hope.

magic - an interlude

I have been working on my post about my journy over the course of the last year after losing my job last August. I am late in posting it because I am struggling with articulating some of the moments, some of the key turning points that lead me to the joyful place that I find myself in today. And here is why....

I have shared parts of this story with a wide audience and find myself questioned frequently about the weight of the role that Sophie played in this journey. Some people find it troublesome that a dog had such an impact on my life course rather than people. They have percieved, mistakenly, that I do not have good human relationships in my life and, therefore, needed to turn to a dog instead. I have also struggled, sometimes, to explain exactly how Sophie enabled me to see more clearly...how she showed me a path that fit with my true self. And I realized my struggle to explain stems from one simple fact: I don't know how she did it. But she did.

So as I was writing my post about our journey...and re-writing to try and explain it better....and re-writing to try and show those in doubt that I do not believe dog love replaces human love....I decided to just stop. Why does it need to be explained? I've tossed away my hours of analysis and decided to rely on my instinct (another lesson from Sophie) and summed it up to this: magic.

Not the kind of magic that makes rabbits disappear in hats or that levitates objects or that foresees the future. It was the kind of magic that happens around us everyday if we look hard enough for it: in a stranger's random act of kindness, in baby girl's wide eyes as she catches her first glimpse of the world around her, in the love of a good dog. It's the kind of magic that fills up your heart and that opens your eyes to what is good, to what is possible in this life. We shouldn't question ourselves or each other on where we find it.....whether it's in our children, in our travels to different countries, in our cameras, in our writing, in our churches or even in our dogs...we should just recognize it for the gift that it is and grab onto it with all our might.

Sophie brought that magic into my life at a time when I needed it most. So the story that I am going to post this week about our journey over the last year will not be about how and why....it will just be about us. About us...and the magic.

ten days

We are heading out tomorrow for our summer vacation at the cottage. Ten glorious days of northern bliss. I am so looking forward to it...to slowing down for an extended period of time. To hanging out with Sophie. To spending time with my family. To taking some new photos. To having no demands, no deadlines, no expectations for ten days. Even Elora makes this trip to cottage with us. We are there long enough to give her a chance to settle in...and a family vacation would simply not be complete without her.



The cottage is a place of reflection for me. A place where I think about my life and about where I want it to go next. I am feeling the need to simplify these days....I have found so much in the last year that I want to spend time on (writing, photography, two blogs, my new job, and so on), but I am feeling stretched a little thin trying to keep up with everything. I will spend some time at the cottage thinking about this concept of simplicity, about what the next chapter of my life story will be, about who I am.



When I return in August it will be almost one year to the day (August 12th, 2008) that I was laid off from my previous job. And this, without a doubt, has been the best year of my life so far. My August 12th post here on Finding Sirius will be in honour of that year long journey. A journey that I began at low point in my life when I was lost and unsure. A journey that I began by following a dog...and my heart.